This July 4th Weekend, Let’s All Agree It’s Time for a New National Anthem

And I have just the song to replace it

Photo by Jason Leung on Unsplash

Americans can’t agree on much these days, but if we’re honest for just a minute I think we would all agree that it’s well past time to retire “The Star-Spangled Banner” as our national anthem. Setting aside both nostalgia and jingoistic patriotism, we can all say out loud what we’ve whispered for decades: it’s just not a good song.

First of all, though everyone knows that Francis Scott Key wrote the words to “The Star-Spangled Banner” during the bombardment of Fort McHenry in the War of 1812, few know that the music is from a popular English drinking song of the time called “To Anacreon in Heaven.” So every time you stand up at a baseball game while some D-list celebrity butchers the song, the tune you are singing is one that men sang 200 years ago while swilling Guinness. The British may have lost the War of 1812, but they won the war of national anthems; “God Save the Queen” is better by miles and miles.

Furthermore, I recently learned that we only sing the first 8 lines of the 32 lines in the official lyrics. I’m not complaining, though; listening to the horrific Roseanne Barr or Michael Bolton renditions for one second longer might have resulted in the fall of the Republic. But there’s a very good…