The Six Songs That Will Finally Convert Simon Dillon to Country Music

I refuse to give up on this

Image: Fort Worth Business Press

For the better part of two years now, in addition to spreading the gospel of Springsteen I have attempted what many have said was impossible: convincing Simon Dillon of the joys of country music. I don’t mean that nonsense they call country today; I mean the stuff you’d hear in 1970 in a roadside bar with chicken wire around the stage to protect the band from flying beer bottles (that’s not just a movie thing, trust me).

I assumed that given enough time, the Benevolent Ruler of the Dillon Empire would see that Lynyrd Skynyrd, Tom Petty, Steve Earle, and Waylon Jennings were all soulmates and that his beloved Pet Shop Boys were only one step removed from the duets of Dwight Yoakum and Buck Owens. Thus far, I have assumed wrong.

I’ve tried multiple angles of attack, all with him in mind. I’ve written articles about rockers singing country songs, country artists singing rock songs, and mentioned Tammy Wynette so often her estate sent me a cease-and-desist order. Even the Texas Tornados singing a Charley Pride song couldn’t sway him, for crying out loud.

Then, while tumbling down a YouTube wormhole the other day, I had an idea. A wonderful, awful idea.