Sparrow the Cat Gives An Angry Update on Life in East Texas
Never leave the laptop unattended
Note: I was careless this morning and left my laptop open when I went outside to smoke, drink coffee, and curse the gophers (or moles, I’m not sure which) that are tearing up the yard, and in my absence the more literate of my two cats banged out the following story updating life here in Mayberry. I was going to just delete it, but it is over 700 words and we all know my rule about publishing anything once it reaches that threshold. The views expressed in this piece are solely those of the feline scribe.
To whomever may be reading this, my name is Sparrow and I am wrongfully imprisoned. My Jailer has left the room to do whatever it is he does when not bowing to my every whim, but this time he left the folding box that he plays with all day open instead of closing it and placing it beyond my reach. I often walk on the box when he is using it, which irritates him and gives me immense pleasure. I am a cat of very large brain and am confident that my paws’ random creation of words is far more interesting than anything he usually produces.
Before he returns, I must type out a cry for help, relief, salvation. Call the governor, call the president, call the King of New Jersey the Jailer always writes about, call anyone who can release me from…
