I think you read my piece about not going back to my soul-crushing job after a leave of absence, so I get this 100%. Speaking only about the US, neither stay-at-home moms nor artists of any kind are going to be seen as “productive” members of society any time soon; we are too money-focused. We know the price of everything and the value of nothing (I can’t remember where that quote is from).

Your husband’s situation at the bank, except that banks will use any excuse to not loan money. They should, at the very least, be considering what you are saving by not having to pay for child care as you contributing. Banks suck.

I know it’s a hard call. Whatever decision you make, keep writing.